We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can't turn off my feet"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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