WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
handjob tips. give me some.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
