I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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