You're completely useless in the revolution.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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