If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just cropdusted the office
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This baby is an asshole
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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