Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize