just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
