I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
