I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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