We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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