I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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