She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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