Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
