Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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