Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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