Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
zippers are such a cool invention
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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