I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
