nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We got so high we made milksteak
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
