I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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