Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Randomize
