jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize