I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
