i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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