i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
