haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
