you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
