I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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