girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize