I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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