I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize