im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
