just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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