What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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