He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
