You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize