I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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