the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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