And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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