and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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