What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
