I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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