We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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