she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
