It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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