Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
