remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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