I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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