i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
