i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
