haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
