there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
