NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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