am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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