Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
