He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
